The 10 Biggest Mistakes Men Make With Women
October 10, 2012
Our Cult-ure programs men to wildly overestimate
the benefits of association with a young
woman. Most girls know their real worth and find
male infatuation needy and off-putting.
by Jad T. Jones
1. Being too nice and showing too much interest
When a man meets a woman he is very interested in, he tends to become over accommodating and starts acting extra nice.
He will do things like laugh at things that aren't too funny. He will agree with everything she says. He will offer to help her in any way that he can. And he will generally display to her that he is willing to do whatever she asks of him in exchange for her to like him.
This is a recipe for failure. A woman doesn't feel attraction to a man who presents himself to her as a subservient servant.
Once a woman knows that you are willing to do anything to be with her, all the challenge is gone and she immediately loses all interest and attraction for that man.
Instead you want to show women that you are a challenge. You want to show her that you have personal power and don't need to suck up to her in order to get her love and approval.
Keep your power for you because a woman wants to date a powerful man, not a subservient wimp.
Mistake Number 2: Leaning In
Another mistake men make is leaning into the woman too much.
Leaning in means that you physically lean your body towards her when you are talking to her; this is not attractive and sub communicates that you are bowing to her and that you believe that she is more valuable and powerful that you are.
In short, leaning in is a sign of submission.
A woman wants a man who is more powerful than her, not less powerful.
So in order to sub-communicate to a woman that you are more powerful and dominant than her make sure you always stand in an erect fashion and even lean back a bit; this sub communicates that you are confident, powerful and have high self esteem. All those qualities are attractive to women.
Never lean in; always lean back
Mistake Number 3: Not Taking The Lead In An Interaction
Most men try to get the woman to lead the interaction and conversation;
this is a huge mistake and makes women lose attraction immediately.
Asking a woman a string of questions just to get her talking is not the way to gain rapport with her and make her like you.
When you put all the pressure on a woman to lead the interaction and do all the talking she will get annoyed and leave.
Also, asking a woman what she wants to do instead of planning everything and just inviting her along is also a huge mistake; women hate having to lead and make decisions.
From now on always take the lead in all your conversations with women. Lead the conversation where you want it to go. Also be assertive and be the one who decides where you guys are going to go out and what you are going to do.
Always always lead.
Mistake Number 4: Thinking Of What To Say Next
When talking to an attractive woman, men are usually up in their heads thinking about what they're going to say next.
When you are up in your head instead of in the present moment really listening to her then she is not going to feel much connection with you. She is going to see that you look distracted; she will think you aren't really listening to her and don't care about what she has to say.
When you are thinking about what you are going to say next you lose the intimate connection that is necessary to develop with a woman in order for her to feel attracted to you.
Instead of thinking about what to say next, be in the moment, get present in your body and really listen to her.
Once you start truly listening to her, you will connect with her because you are being in the moment; and when you are in the moment the woman can feel a true connection with you.
Mistake Number 5: Trying To Impress Women
A lot of men think they have to impress a woman into liking them; this is wrong.
Sitting there talking about yourself and how great you are does very little to stimulate interest or attraction in a woman.
When a woman sees that you are obsessed with yourself and always talking about your possessions and accomplishments, she's going to think you are a selfish self centered loser.
What a woman wants is a man who cares about her and wants to connect with her and learn about her hopes and dreams.
So from now on forget about impressing a woman and instead focus on connecting with her.
Get curious about her, her life, her dreams, passions, struggles; once you do this the woman will feel very connected and safe with you. Once she feels connected and safe then her next emotion is usually attraction.
Mistake Number 6: Telling Her You Like Her Too Soon
A lot of times you will meet a woman that you really like and you will have this powerful urge to express to her how crazy you are about her; don't do this!
Many men make the mistake of expressing their interest to a woman too soon and then the woman is turned off and runs away.
You need to always keep a woman suspended between hope and doubt; a woman wants a challenge. The second a woman knows that she can have you, she loses interest in you.
You need to show her a little interest and then balance that interest with displays of disinterest; this will always keep her guessing about you and keep you a challenge in her eyes
Mistake Number 7: Talking About Negative Things
When you meet a woman never talk about anything negative.
Most men tend to talk about a lot of negative things when they first meet a woman; he talks about his X girlfriend, his break up, how he is struggling at work, how crappy the weather is etc....
Women hate this; they just want someone who will make them feel happy.
So always make sure you only talk about positive fun things when you are with a woman. Take her on an adventure and allow her to forget about her mundane troublesome life. She wants a man who will add excitement and joy to her life, not bring her down into the dumps
Mistake Number 8: Having Weak Body Language
When you are talking to a beautiful woman don't fidget or move around too much. A woman is attracted to a man who is confident and comfortable in his own skin.
If you are nervous, fidgeting, looking around a lot, speaking too quickly and not keeping strong eye contact then then woman is going to sense that you are weak and her attraction will die.
Be calm and strong in the presence of a woman. Make your movements slow and relaxed, keep strong eye contact, speak slowly, breath slowly, be as relaxed as possible. An alpha male is always relaxed and in control of himself and the situation; that's what women are attracted to.
Mistake Number 9: Not Dressing Properly Or Being Well Groomed
If you want a beautiful woman in your life you have to present yourself
in an attractive fashion.
A lot of men have a very unattractive style. Make sure you don't weak
runners with jeans. Wear black socks with pants and white socks with
shorts. Make sure your clothes fit your body and look good on you.
Always shower and smell good. Make sure all your body hairs are
trimmed including nose and ear hair if you have them.
A woman judges you by your style, how you are groomed and how well
you take care of your body. A woman wants a healthy, clean, stylish man; not a slob.
The way you take care of yourself tells her a lot about how well you will take care of her.
Mistake Number 10: Calling Her Too Much
When you get a woman's phone number, email address or Facebook, this does not give you permission to call her and talk to her all the time.
A lot of men get too excited when they get a woman's contact info and start calling too much, texting too much or writing very long Facebook messages to her; all these behaviors creep women out so don't do them.
If she sees that you are too available and contacting her all the time she will think you are desperate and weird; she will stop feeling attraction for you and start avoiding you.
Always keep your contact with her brief and casual. Maintain this until after you have had sex with her. This way you are sure not to scare her off before the relationship has time to develop and mature.
--Thanks to Matt for sending this along.
Related - Makow "Men who take No for an Answer"
Contrast with the "Game" Bible: 16 Commandments of Poon (Thanks Bill)
Note- We do not believe in "gaming" young women.
