Assertion of Male Leadership Threatens Marriage
August 31, 2012
"My wife and I are currently separated and amidst
early proceedings of possible divorce over issues I've chosen to take a
stance on that certainly don't adhere to mainstream culture. I believe
there's still hope for us, but we'll just have to wait and see how
things pan out." JAMES' NEW-FOUND BELIEFS THREATEN TO WRECK HIS MARRIAGE. SEE MAKOW COMMENT AT END, AND JAMES' REPLY - THE REAL STORY
by James
(henrymakow.com)
Throughout the years, feminism has painted the picture that liberation and empowerment is good for all women.
While that may be true for women involved in abusive relationships, the concept has run amok to the point where women are actually degraded and at risk.
The key to obtaining power and influence for a woman nowadays is to turn herself into a sexual revolving door in order to turn a man into a hypnotized drone with which she can do her bidding.
Look at any mainstream female pop icon and tell me that the aim is not to obtain control by flaunting their sexuality around for all to see. Today's 'liberated' female is nothing more than a glorified prostitute.
And if she doesn't put out, she doesn't get ahead in life. The pressure to resemble this image isn't helped at all by the rampant spread of pornography and increasingly revealing photos on magazine covers in the common grocery store. It's no wonder people in our culture can run with an idea like the Lingerie Football League and have it be a success !
The goal of feminism has been to subvert the God-given authority of men (for those who would use that authority properly and lovingly) and to replace it with this emerging image of the sexually manipulative female.
What has this all boiled down to? Women everywhere choosing careers over families, and flaunting themselves around like it's nobodies business.
Equal rights may have allowed women to be soldiers, but the collateral damage of that has decision has brought terrible repercussions on the 1/2 million women claimed to have been raped throughout the history of the US military.
The documentary "The Invisible War" outlines the hardships suffered by many of these women who I'm sure, in hindsight, would have been much happier opting to stay at home and raise a family of their own instead of fighting the war with the boys in Afghanistan. (for the record I'll say that I'm not for banning women from the military entirely. There are many non-combat, support trades that women can perform just as well as a man, but I am absolutely FOR banning women from being infantry soldiers, and even possibly from being deployed anywhere overseas.
Call me old fashioned, but I just believe that women belong on home soil and as close to the family home as possible. Isn't that the honorable thing to do? Men go fight for freedom, women stay home and nurture the homestead?)
As the ethics of our society continue to spiral downwards, I continually wonder to myself; what more is there left to take? Hasn't the moral fabric of our collective souls been tainted enough? Haven't we reached a tipping point where we collectively can say "OK, enough is enough; let's get back to what was working for us before, and all these bad things that keep happening should stop"?
When will our culture wake up and realize that the violence and sex we are exposed to everyday on TV and in the movie theaters and on every billboard around our cities is inherently damaging to our psyche and that we need something real and wholesome to turn towards?
When will we stand up and say "this is enough" and demand TV shows and movies that depict families consisting of 2 heterosexual parents raising their children in a loving, disciplined environment and talking out issues in a forum that is healthy for children to express themselves?
That would be much more healthy than J-Lo's take on lesbian parenting (soon to be aired on ABC Family of all networks) wouldn't you think?
Sadly I fear the fact is that there isn't much more we can do but to raise our own kids to fear God and live in a home that upholds a Godly standard of living.
They are what is the most important thing in this world and they need to be raised knowing that their parents love each other and work through the issues that face them everyday.
I believe that the best way to teach someone to change is not to tell them that they're wrong (though there certainly is time and place for that), but to show them by example the way to live.
To encourage good, wholesome, respectful behavior and make them jealous of the positive effects it brings into your life. The best way to combat the growing effects of feminism on our culture is to raise the next generation the right way and have them be the positive force in the world they will inherit.
I'm not really up for writing the effects of feminism within my own family yet. I certainly have witnessed the affects of feminism in my own marriage (early in the marriage my wife would ask me to be more assertive and lead more; and now that I have, and have chosen to stand for things she disagrees with, she's taken the opposite stance and asked me to leave the house or she will with the kids), but now's not the time for that from me yet. Maybe down the road when I'm more rational about my own situation I can write something about that too.
--
Makow comment -- James, if your leadership of the family is at issue, then you have reason to consider divorce. But if the problem is a difference of opinion on issues like women in combat, perhaps it's best to just avoid discussing them and focus on the good qualities you both have. The Feminists want to break up marriages. If your marriage fails due to your opinion of feminism, well they have succeeded.
James replies:
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(henrymakow.com)
Throughout the years, feminism has painted the picture that liberation and empowerment is good for all women.
While that may be true for women involved in abusive relationships, the concept has run amok to the point where women are actually degraded and at risk.
The key to obtaining power and influence for a woman nowadays is to turn herself into a sexual revolving door in order to turn a man into a hypnotized drone with which she can do her bidding.
Look at any mainstream female pop icon and tell me that the aim is not to obtain control by flaunting their sexuality around for all to see. Today's 'liberated' female is nothing more than a glorified prostitute.
And if she doesn't put out, she doesn't get ahead in life. The pressure to resemble this image isn't helped at all by the rampant spread of pornography and increasingly revealing photos on magazine covers in the common grocery store. It's no wonder people in our culture can run with an idea like the Lingerie Football League and have it be a success !The goal of feminism has been to subvert the God-given authority of men (for those who would use that authority properly and lovingly) and to replace it with this emerging image of the sexually manipulative female.
What has this all boiled down to? Women everywhere choosing careers over families, and flaunting themselves around like it's nobodies business.
Equal rights may have allowed women to be soldiers, but the collateral damage of that has decision has brought terrible repercussions on the 1/2 million women claimed to have been raped throughout the history of the US military.
The documentary "The Invisible War" outlines the hardships suffered by many of these women who I'm sure, in hindsight, would have been much happier opting to stay at home and raise a family of their own instead of fighting the war with the boys in Afghanistan. (for the record I'll say that I'm not for banning women from the military entirely. There are many non-combat, support trades that women can perform just as well as a man, but I am absolutely FOR banning women from being infantry soldiers, and even possibly from being deployed anywhere overseas.
Call me old fashioned, but I just believe that women belong on home soil and as close to the family home as possible. Isn't that the honorable thing to do? Men go fight for freedom, women stay home and nurture the homestead?)
As the ethics of our society continue to spiral downwards, I continually wonder to myself; what more is there left to take? Hasn't the moral fabric of our collective souls been tainted enough? Haven't we reached a tipping point where we collectively can say "OK, enough is enough; let's get back to what was working for us before, and all these bad things that keep happening should stop"?
When will our culture wake up and realize that the violence and sex we are exposed to everyday on TV and in the movie theaters and on every billboard around our cities is inherently damaging to our psyche and that we need something real and wholesome to turn towards?
When will we stand up and say "this is enough" and demand TV shows and movies that depict families consisting of 2 heterosexual parents raising their children in a loving, disciplined environment and talking out issues in a forum that is healthy for children to express themselves?
That would be much more healthy than J-Lo's take on lesbian parenting (soon to be aired on ABC Family of all networks) wouldn't you think? Sadly I fear the fact is that there isn't much more we can do but to raise our own kids to fear God and live in a home that upholds a Godly standard of living.
They are what is the most important thing in this world and they need to be raised knowing that their parents love each other and work through the issues that face them everyday.
I believe that the best way to teach someone to change is not to tell them that they're wrong (though there certainly is time and place for that), but to show them by example the way to live.
To encourage good, wholesome, respectful behavior and make them jealous of the positive effects it brings into your life. The best way to combat the growing effects of feminism on our culture is to raise the next generation the right way and have them be the positive force in the world they will inherit.
I'm not really up for writing the effects of feminism within my own family yet. I certainly have witnessed the affects of feminism in my own marriage (early in the marriage my wife would ask me to be more assertive and lead more; and now that I have, and have chosen to stand for things she disagrees with, she's taken the opposite stance and asked me to leave the house or she will with the kids), but now's not the time for that from me yet. Maybe down the road when I'm more rational about my own situation I can write something about that too.
--
Makow comment -- James, if your leadership of the family is at issue, then you have reason to consider divorce. But if the problem is a difference of opinion on issues like women in combat, perhaps it's best to just avoid discussing them and focus on the good qualities you both have. The Feminists want to break up marriages. If your marriage fails due to your opinion of feminism, well they have succeeded.
James replies:
Thanks
for posting Henry. I noticed your comment at the end and I appreciate
the advice. I have stewed over the paradox myself if my marriage may be
being broken up over things that are petty (like my stance on females in
combat). Sadly, I do not believe so. Yes, my opinions to tend to cause
the odd argument every now and then, but it is more weighty issues that
have caused me to eventually start crossing this bridge.
I have chosen to stop observing holidays rooted in
paganism like Christmas/Easter/Halloween, etc. and no longer wish to
tolerate those activities in my house (obviously I do not extend this dissension to other people's homes, even in my immediate families', but I
will not stand for it in my own house). My desire to 'purify' our food
and strive to purchase exclusively locally-grown, GMO/Steroid-free food
as much as possible, etc. I've stopped attending our church where we met
(a big issue for her) and started attending a different one which lines
up with with what I believe holds a much more accurate viewpoint on
observing and studying scripture (A Messianic congregation).
It's not exactly my opinions on politics/feminism
that has been the driving wedge, it's been our hearts growing further
and further apart on how we believe we should be walking out our faith
and how our house should be run, and she wants nothing to do with
changing the way things were from back when we originally met. I told
her that I want to run my house how I see is most Biblically fit, and
she believes I'm going overboard and doesn't want the kids being exposed
to it.
Throughout the time we've been separated (thankfully
we still work together cordially and agreeably with visiting time for
seeing the kids) we both think sometimes that it can still work between
us, but these major, dividing issues keep on coming back up when we
discuss them. It's very frustrating because we were great friends before
we were married and still work well as friends now (it really makes
things confusing for us to be talking about details of divorce), but we
still both see these issues differently and are extremely far apart
emotionally and relationally as a result.
Hopefully this provides a little more clarification.
Like i said, I've taken some assertive/decisive stances like she's been
asking for our entire marriage, but now she doesn't like it and has
asked me to move out. We both still seem to hope that our marriage can
be salvaged because we want what's best for us and for our kids, but
it's about how we imagine the house fundamentally being run that has
caused us to drift apart.
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Aysh said (September 3, 2012):
I disagree with some of the statements made by a couple of the women. James briefly explained his situation, not his life story. No, he didn't mention his love for his wife, did he need to? Of course we cannot expect our partners to 'change' and I didn't get the impression James wanted or expected his wife to change from the woman he met at church. It's ridiculous to think no one changes, of course we do.
Our experiences effect our views and outlook on life, we adjust our thoughts and beliefs according to new information we're exposed to. We will continue to do this throughout our lives. It can also be called wisdom! James has obviously, as husband, father, protector, discovered some truths and is very concerned for his family and wants to protect them. It's obvious he's assertive now more than ever as a result of certain frightening facts which he believes effect his family, especially the disinformation which effect his childrens future. That is what his wife has always wanted do so he's doing it. In my opinion his wife doesn't know what she wants. She asked for it, she got, now she doesn't know how to deal with it. Based on James' letter, I think she's setting a bad example for their children in so any ways. Women have always had their say and I personally have had enough of feminists and feminism.
Even those who claim not to be one sound like them. I'm a woman and i completely and utterly believe a woman can either make a man or break a man! Unfortunately too many men are broken and breaking. I can only hope James gets through it but if his wife refuses to 'join' him then he needs to divorce her otherwise he will deteriorate".