Mother: Is Daycare Good for My Son's Development?
April 14, 2015
A reader raises her two-year-old
at home but her husband
thinks daycare is necessary to teach
the child to interact and be assertive.
What do you think?
by Sandra
(henrymakow.com)
I am writing in the hope that you can give me your advice. My husband and I have a two-year-old boy. So far, I refused to go back to work, and have stayed with my child at home, while my husband works full time and supports our family.
This is best for our child, both from my own experience (my parents pushed me into daycare system when I was a kid, and it was sheer torture for me.) I am horrified at the possibility of placing my child in such an environment and scarring him, the way I was scarred.
However, my husband, thinks if we don't give our son to the daycare system soon, he'll run the danger of becoming too 'passive', 'unassertive', and become a 'target for bullies', due to having spent his formative years exclusively at home with his parents.
My parents put me in a daycare at the age of 5, so that I "learn to socialize and be a part of a structured group." (I was an only child, by the way, just as my son is.)
I absolutely hated the following year-and-a-half of my life - I still carry scars. I entered the elementary school and, surprisingly - loved it. It was so different and so much better than the dreaded daycare system.
My husband was sent to JK at the age of 3 and a half and hated it and was bullied through much of his school stay, from the age of three to high school graduation. He partially blames this on the fact that his parents were late to place him in the educational system. Because he started to socialize late, he never learned to be assertive and avoid/defeat/combat bullying that he was subjected to.
I absolutely dread placing my young son in this early childhood education mincing machine. On the other hand, my husband and a family friend got me paranoid and worried that if we wait for our child to enter the grade 1 at the age of 6 - he will be ill prepared to function optimally in an organized group of kids, too passive, unassertive and quiet. My son, by the way, is very perceptive, quiet and sensitive, yet very active.
In your experience as a parent, as a concerned citizen, and intelligent author, would you be able to please share your opinion on this with me, and / or direct me to some of your or others' articles / texts that discuss this particular issue?
Do you by any chance know of any studies that deal with correlation of being bullied at school and entering the educational system later (say, at the age of 5) rather than earlier (say, at the age of 2 or 3), or studies that show the exact opposite to hold true? I am starting to do my own internet research on this, but so far not much has come up.
Thank you very much for your reply in advance.
-
This was my reply; I welcome yours:
I am not really "qualified" in this area but my reaction is to support you, In this society you don't want to be socialized. The only daycare I've seen was a pretty cold place but I expect there are better. The spectre of "bullying" is hypothetical. Being forced into a group is no guarantee your son will become assertive. It could have the opposite effect. Stick to your guns and raise your child according to your best instincts.
First Comment from Dan:
Too many men have been brainwashed this way. Still, I was surprised to read that the father of this boy says he blames being bullied in school on his parents not handing him over to day care before age three. He must have been born fairly recently, the 1980's perhaps. That's recently enough to have no reference points to know what natural parenting was like before it was hijacked by social engineers.
In the real world both boys and girls learn how to assert and protect themselves from aggressors of any age. If the man fears the boy won't learn self assertion from his own father, he should use the daycare money to enroll him in a martial arts academy. If he complains that martial arts isn't gender neutral enough, give him horsemanship lessons.
By the way, three really is too young to throw the child into 'interaction' with strangers all day with his mother or father not present. You expect a toddler to 'assert himself' at 2 or 3 years old? That's why the social engineers insist the 'the younger the better'. They want them completely helpless. A three year old boy really is helpless. He should be with mother, learning interpersonal exchange with her - there is no surrogate for a child's bond with his mother. The first 4 years should be without the distractions of the 'world'. He's going to have to enter that battlefield soon enough. There's plenty of development that best happens in the home. He could learn to read at home. (I did).
Believe me, when I taught 4th grade Sunday school a fews years ago, I saw the result of today's daycare and 'drive by' parenting. The boys are already withdrawn and effeminate because day care wont' LET boys assert themselves.
I recommend reading 'Weapons of Mass Instruction' by veteran public school teacher John Taylor Gatto. And this essay, for starters. Why Schools Don't Educate
Sandra writes: Many thanks for posting my letter to you on your web site! I read the comments carefully. I immensely appreciate the commenters' willingness to share their own experiences, their opinions, suggestions and advice. These comments strengthened my belief that I am doing the right thing by not "offering" my child on the "altar" of contemporary, urban daycare system.
KJ said (April 16, 2015):
Stay at home with your child. Daycare would provide ANTI social training.
Daycares are a hotbed of illness. You're not allowed in unless you vaccinate your child (we didn't). "Socialization" is a psychiatric concept to socially engineer us into obedient, conformist and restrained zombies.
I found a morning nursery school with a charming and tolerant teacher. My sons went there for a few mornings a week. Otherwise, we ventured out to the art galleries and museums, the park and restaurants. I used to send my kids to the local greasy spoon restaurant for a BLT (bacon, lettuce and tomato sandwich) to practise their manners when they were about 8 and 10. Create!
I ended up homeschooling my kids. They are now 26 and 28. They are both sweet fellows who care about me and Grandma, who try to engage their fellow man in survival activities and who have supported themselves since they were 16. The younger one is a senior stylist at a posh hair salon and the other is a dancer with the Mannheim National Ballet.