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Women: The Time Bombs We Love

October 11, 2014

gov_cylvia.jpg(left Kitzhaber and Hayes)

Facing a tough re-election vote next month,
Oregon Governor John Kitzhaber, 67,
has been blindsided by the discovery that
Oregon's "First Lady" his longtime girlfriend,
and now fiancee, "environmental activist"
Cylvia Hayes, 47, had entered into a sham marriage
in 1997 in return for $5000.


Feb 2015 Latest!!   Kitzhaber on verge of resignation for funneling $ to lover. No fool like an old fool.


This opens some wounds for our contributor, Philip Wyeth of Portland,
who indulges in a soothing mix of misogyny and schadenfreude.


"Any man can fall victim to a woman's duplicity and sins of omission."


by Philip Wyeth
Women's Secret Biographies
(abridged by henrymakow.com)


When my best friend's wife left him out of the blue, it sent shockwaves through us all, because as he phrases it, "She was vetted."

In the six years since that paradigm-shifting day, he and I have kept an ongoing dialogue about the mysterious underbelly of human nature in order that neither of us should be so badly blindsided again. A local news story this week in Oregon brings the lesson home writ large that any man can fall victim to a woman's duplicity and sins of omission.

Apparently Cylvia Hayes's third marriage in 1997 was to an 18-year-old Ethiopian student who paid her $5,000 so he could get a green card. Hayes, 29 at the time and also a student, claims it was "an unstable period in my life" and that "I was associating with the wrong people." Hmm, what people were these exactly?

Not only did she sweep this illegal marriage under the rug while building up her meticulous façade, she never once revealed it to Kitzhaber during all the years they've been together. He only learned about it this week after Willamette Week started digging into the court records--which always seem so dirty--and now all her big talk about the "work that I do on behalf of our environment and trying to make people's lives better" will have to wait because "I need to take some personal time to reflect and address this difficult situation and to focus on my relationship with John."

Walking home after breakfast I kept chewing over this most revealing fact: she already had three divorces under her belt by the age of 35. Now 47 and engaged to Kitzhaber as of August after years as "life partners," Hayes must have envisioned the next four years as her "rags to riches" coronation should he, a man twenty years her senior no less, win reelection next month, with nuptials sure to follow.

But in life high drama sometimes lies in wait near the finish line.

WELCOME TO THE CUCKHOLD CLUB

It sure is instructive to all us Joe Nobodies that a man at the top with life experience and the winning smile can get the wool pulled over his eyes by a say-anything gold digger just like the rest of us.

I believe that somewhere deep in every woman's subconscious there is a microchip that employs Outcome Based Logic to justify any type of bad behavior when it is exposed. In sweet Cylvia's own words: "My decision to marry illegally felt very, very distant and far removed from the life I was building. I was ashamed and embarrassed. Therefore I did not share this information even with John once we met and started dating." And there it is.

To paraphrase the logic: "I am an unaccomplished woman in my 30s with a sketchy past, so as I try to infiltrate respectable society I must keep my new identity squeaky clean, particularly in the eyes of this successful man whose coattails I intend to ride. Oops, now it's ten years into our relationship and I never bothered to tell him so that he at least could politically strategize in advance to protect his reputation should my dark secrets come to light--not to mention his feelings! Oh well, I'm going to take some time off... don't forget to vote Kitzhaber!"

Now let's see her in action. First, in this patronizing little speech [last April], her delusions of grandeur about saving the environment intertwine perfectly with a public figure's self-aggrandizing life story narrative--just remember that this impressively put-together professional woman yukking it up with the crowd is at the core really just another sexy little scammer taking advantage of people's gullibility while keeping her own agenda moving forward. The whole thing is just so full of shit!

Cylvia_Hayes_crying.jpg(Wah! Wah! Got caught. Time for the perp walk)

And now video of this week's heartbreaking press conference where behind the crocodile tears we witness as the dreams of a poor child "who would bathe in Old Man Green's pond up the road" are crushed by the Angel of Accountability, that cruel judge who inevitably ... settle accounts. Even clever little girls who... walk away from their sins of expediency, who pause only to touch up their makeup before rounding the corner to see what new doors their pretty face can open.

CONCLUSION

Century after century, men both great and poor fall for the mindless charming guile that nature has bestowed upon women. They smile at us and whisper promises, so we open our gates and dare to trust--and afterwards we somehow always find ourselves trampled on the ground, penniless, our reputations torn to shreds, our hearts crushed and confused.

There's no clever out here--we're looking at a stark and sometimes brutal part of life... We have to ask ourselves hard questions beforehand. How vulnerable am I willing to make myself? How thoroughly would I investigate a woman whose company I enjoy? Would I even have the strength to leave her if I didn't like what I found out?

All kidding aside, a part of me sympathizes with John Kitzhaber right now. Not the politician, not the savvy public figure, but the man deep down inside who got played just like Samson, just like my friend, just like a billion other unknown men throughout history. It's heavy stuff and all we can do is look at it right in the eyes.
----

Gentlemen! if you were John Kitzhaber, would you call off your marriage to Cylvia Hayes?    Send replies to hmakow@gmail.com

First Comment by Jack:

My wife pulled the "I love you but im not in love with you" bullshit 3 months ago... she then left our home, and is currently fucking another man, and it seems, had at the very least carried out an emotional affair w/ him online for a 6 month minimum prior to conessing and leaving.  There are many more heinous details.  My poor daughter's life has been rocked... she's only 5 and in kindergarten. Over and over I ask my wife (soon to be ex) how she could be so absolutely selfish. Shes thought about no one but herself and "finding my happiness in life" as she says...

One thing is certain. We need to begin working at the judicial level to change the laws. Women like my wife should be punished harshly. Infidelity and abandonment should be a felony offense. But as the laws are currently written, ill probably end up PAYING her a ridiculous sum each month. For what?!?!
--
Wade:  "No matter how egregious their behavior is, IT IS ALWAYS JUSTIFIED. We must also remember that truth is relative and subjective [to them]"

Men are far from being perfect...that said, my heart goes out to most men involved in a divorce. I have been through two divorces with two kids involved both times. Both former wives were adulteresses. Under the old laws in California neither would have gotten a penny out of me and their contact with the children would have been severely restricted.

Thanks to the no fault divorce law, my kids were subjected to much suffering, and my finances were devastated. THE ONLY WINNER IN CALIFORNIA FAMILY LAW IS THE FORMER WIFE, no matter what a whore she has been, or how much money she has stolen from her husband and rat-holed in a joint account with her mother (as my second wife did). Everyone suffers except the guilty party who deserves to suffer.

There are sleazeball men out there and I have no sympathy for them. However, no fault divorce is not a good thing. My aunt on my mother's side, had a divorce before no fault divorce was passed. Her former husband (a farmer) hired a private detective and had the goods on her, for she was very much involved in an adulterous relationship with another man. In the divorce she got nothing, and her visits with her daughter were severely restricted, and of course, the farmer husband got custody of their only child.

This did not stop the selfish immoral behavior of my aunt. She married the guy she was sleeping with and then went on to do the same thing to him she had done to her first husband. All together she ended up being married five times. Always looking for the greener grass, always totally selfish.

This article and the first comment are both right on. Guys...we must always remember that women not only hate to fess up and tell the truth, they also flatly refuse to do it. No matter how egregious their behavior is, IT IS ALWAYS JUSTIFIED. We must also remember that truth is relative and subjective even to most good and faithful women. It is the way they are. Truth is objective to men...so there we have a problem.

As men we have two major issues: First...most of us do not understand women at all, and this makes us very vulnerable. Secondly...no fault divorce should never be the law in any state.

Good husband and wife relationships are, of course, possible. But not very common or easily achieved. The man, who is a politician in the article, should run as fast and as far away from this woman as he can. Just one man's opinion, derived from painful and costly experience.





Scruples - the game of moral dillemas

Comments for "Women: The Time Bombs We Love "

William said (October 14, 2014):

Gentlemen! if you were John Kitzhaber, would you call off your marriage to Cylvia Hayes? Send replies to hmakow@gmail.com

In a New York minute!

Ed said (October 13, 2014):

NIce article. I read about this over the weekend. If I could sit down with the governor (and he was a honest man) I would tell him to leave the bitch. However, If I am his political adviser, I tell him to leave her after the election. Allow everyone to find out at the inaugural ball. I would feign love and support right up until Nov 2...then when asked about it towards the end of January, I would say "I just could not get over her lies and deception. I am the people of Oregon's governor. They trust me to make good decisions. I just cannot have untrustworthy people in my life."

As for some of the commentators and you yourself Henry: Women have no sense of morality or justice. To a women, morality means: "If it got me what I want it was the right thing to do, if it didn't get me what I want, it was wrong, so wrong." The rulers of society know this about women...hell, so do you. Women have always been as they are today. The only difference was there were mechanisms put into place to discourage this type of behavior. Today, there are none.

Women are NEVER held responsible for their actions. In human behaviorism, this is similar to rewarding bad behavior and NOT expecting more bad behavior. The laws of today are completely one-sided in favor of women. What do YOU think would happen in a similar climate? What we are witnessing is the "Fall of Rome 2.0"...with women (now and then) speeding the process along even faster.

John said (October 13, 2014):

Men that can't feel who their woman is are completely out of touch with themselves in my opinion. I was fortunate to spend time with guys like Ingo Swann in the 1980's who is the father of remote viewing and thus there are no secrets. if a man is truly connected to his penis then when he is inside his woman then he can feel ALL of her and all her history and there are no secrets. both my partner and I have been with hundreds of other people to reach this level of connection and clarity. As a man...I would say that "the woman you attract is a reflection of the man that you are"... Thus don't have secrets ...they are toxic...

Gary said (October 13, 2014):

It’s a provocative article, no doubt cathartic for the writer, and it will open some windows on this writer’s and other men’s emotions and sense of betrayal, as well as open old, and even festering, wounds. But, outside of the personal satisfaction of striking back (because one has “struck out”) this article and the comments really do nothing to advance the cause of interpersonal relations, ey? I find JG’s and Linda’s comments most sympathetic…, but even they wind up blaming the politico for being so easily fooled by this woman, and blaming the media for ballyhooing the issue during his campaign.

A pretty fair reading of world literature, and my personal experiences as I near completing my 7th decade on the planet, leads me to conclude that men and women can both be mendacious, deceitful, unfair and even despicable towards each other! So, let’s start by recognizing that. And, having recognized that, let’s further admit that the laws of these United States have often been, and are now, unevenly applied and often abominable. The laws do not so much line women’s bras with greenbacks as they line the pockets and purses of swinish lawyers with that stuff! We definitely need to reform the laws in this matter (and in so many other matters!), and we need to start taking “ethics” seriously again and learn how to better communicate with one another across dangerous, but navigable, straits of gender, race, age, etc.

Dr. Jim said (October 13, 2014):

Tell Governor Kitzhaber to run from this woman as fast and far away as he can.

She has lied, does lie, and will lie. She is what she is, a liar. Can't trust a liar ever.

With exceptions, American females have been given "a license to steal" by our collective society.
Once upon a time it wasn't so, but it is now. There are no constraints in our culture to stop them.

And our culture supports their behavior. It is what it is boys. Beware.

Allen said (October 12, 2014):

absolutely positively would call off marriage to one like this self-grandizing-lieing -scheming whore should CLEARLY have NO fruit. Hello Houston! Time to pull the plug!

Asim said (October 12, 2014):

I would like to add that one of the main problems that men face is the need to have a family. Ultimately, if the desire to have children is so great, then, naturally, men will have to enter the murky foray of dating and commitment to the opposite sex.

This is what brought me into marriage - the insatiable desire to be a father and have children-lots of them. Unfortunately, for men who like to think that they are better off just being a perpetual player, well in the short term, that may be more beneficial, but in the long term, it is a massive loss; the sacrifice being, the missed opportunity of having a family, and passing on ones genes onto the next generation.

Regardless of how feminism is destroying the desirability of so many women, rendering them as unfit and noxious, the psychological need to create and own a family, will far outweigh the idea of avoiding marriage, irrespective of all the potential risks involved. Men have to stay positive, and simply believe, short term pain for long term gain........without children, there is absolutely no need to tolerate and commit to woman.Period.

RS said (October 12, 2014):

Good article. As man of experience, latin lover that I used to be, never been married, free milk ain't too bad, I'd say leave the love crap where it belongs, and if you're dumb enough to tie the knot, find a decent shyster lawyer and, fill in the blank pre-nuptial...

William said (October 12, 2014):

Celebrities and people in the public eye are not immune to mistakes or poor judgment when it comes to the opposite sex. And people often do crazy things for love and money. Romance on the rebound is often ill-advised, but who likes being alone?

I found it easy to get involved with the wrong women after a divorce, because the right ones weren't going to forgive a marriage that was doomed from the start. One young US woman posted over 100 qualities she felt she deserved in a man she would marry.

Ren said (October 12, 2014):

As a man having married three times and taken to the cleaners, I was reminded of a story I saw on a shit house wall many many years ago and never left my memory.

It said:

A man's ambition must be small
to write his name on a shit house wall
but a woman's must be smaller still
To marry a man and be f**ked at will.

Not only did the writer have a sense of humor but obviously knew a thing or two about women.

Their is no need to give further comment as you obviously are aware of a woman's perception that men are especially made so they can have all the good things in life with little effort.

This individual never had a thought of his own comfort but spent his life in service to women and children with as a final result?

Broke, but living a simple life waiting for the inevitable end without ever being contacted by my progeny.

Years ago they only contacted me in search of money but since it ran out I no longer exist.

Hurray for being myself.

[Posting does not imply endorsement -HM]

JG said (October 12, 2014):

This is obviously all part of a media smear campaign against Governor Kitzhaber and his re-election bid.

Are we all suppose to believe that the Governor of Oregon is a naive childish romantic that has been "duped" by his present finance? I doubt it.
American culture today is hardly Elizabethan anymore nor does it adhere to a 'Scarlet Letter' type of moral ethic.

Maybe he really already knew about this woman's past and was willing to forgive her for it. I think Governor Kitzhaber is willing to let this one go but the MSM political assassins aren't. They have an agenda here.

The MSM always give themselves away when they all of a sudden abandon the politically correct immorality that they themselves have propagated but then try to establish a "moral high ground" standard of accountability for politicians they no longer endorse.

Dan said (October 11, 2014):

I think the woman was hired to become the 'girl of his dreams' so that this embarrassment from her past could be revealed at the worst time for him.

I've come to believe that most celebrities and politicians are paired up with 'handlers'. By the same token, don't underestimate how many "naive childish romantic" middle aged men there are in America these days. I believe North American men are the easiest target in the world for women with hidden agendas.

It's important not to confuse wicked women with women in general. Most women attracted to power and fame tend to be, well, wicked.

Linda said (October 11, 2014):

To all the men out there who attribute Cylvia's actions to being a gold-digging liar. Well, sure she is.

But, what about all the men--even a governor--who fall for women like her. Are you not smart enough to do a background check on someone you are going to marry? Duh? Twice divorced? No children? 47?

Until men start respecting and admiring women who are helpers and nurturers of their families and communities, and want deep in your heart to protect and help them, rather than have a sex object/arm charm, you'll get what you paid for. A lying hooker.

Henry Makow received his Ph.D. in English Literature from the University of Toronto in 1982. He welcomes your comments at

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