A "Player" Reflects on Young Women Today
March 21, 2014
"Most young women respect "players".
It's a show of power and authority.
It means that he takes what he wants and isn't ashamed of it."
"Men don't usually post pictures of themselves with their shirts off, or tight closeups of their crotches. Young, attractive women are essentially doing this from the time their bodies come of age (15-16). I've definitely been interested in ladies until seeing what attention-whores they are online..."
Toby Moreland, 29, is the pen name of a sales professional living in the southeastern United States.
By Toby Moreland
I have been all over the place in my own life. I've gone through spurts of what I refer to as "hitting on everything that moves."
I've lived with a woman in a committed relationship for several years. I've had long distance flames, and I've seen multiple women at the same time.
I've had periods of self-imposed abstinence. I'm not an expert, but I'm an observant person.
I can tell you that young women today (18-34) are a very different demographic than their Baby Boomer or Generation X mothers.
Most of these gals are not, in fact, feminists. They do, however, have feminist knee-jerk thoughts and reactions embedded into their minds.
I don't think Dr. Makow's assertion that "love for a woman is 90% trust" applies to this age group.
For these women, respect is the key ingredient. If they don't fully respect the man they're with, the relationship is doomed.
It's actually more important that the woman can be trusted by the man, for (at least) the following reasons:
1) Men are not directly connected to reproduction. When a woman has a child, it's clearly hers. When a man has a child - and is going to spend his life providing/caring for it - he needs to have faith that it's his until/unless it's obvious.
2) Most young women respect "players". It's a show of power and authority. It means that he takes what he wants and isn't ashamed of it. All that alpha crap. This is obviously a generalization, but it's more true than not. So if a young woman is settled in with a man who has stopped trying to attract other women (because he has the one he wants), other men who are still sexually aggressive are more appealing in this way.
However, this can be negated if the man is attacking his career goals or more important things with bravado. A shrinking economy makes this difficult for many.
3) Social media. Men don't usually post pictures of themselves with their shirts off, or tight closeups of their crotches. Young, attractive women are essentially doing this from the time their bodies come of age (15-16). I've definitely been interested in ladies until seeing what attention-whores they are online, and immediately place them into the sex-only (or spank-bank material) bin of possibilities. Too communal for my tastes. If your own girlfriend is posting overly sexual pictures of herself, there's only one thing to do: Comment right on them! State the obvious. "That's a low-cut shirt." or "Nice bikini pic babe." Whatever suits your style. It'll make her feel stupid or dump you. Win-Win.
4) Divorce laws are a trump card in a woman's back pocket. You had better trust a woman before she has your baby. Unless of course, you have sufficient wealth to hold financial power over her, or you simply don't mind the thought of not living in the same house as your offspring.
5) The female mid-life crisis. If a beautiful woman is accustomed to all of the perks and special treatment that comes along with being sexually irresistible, she's probably not going to age gracefully. I'd love to see statistics on 40+ attractive, western women on anti-depressants. In this case, it's trusting that the woman can handle being mortal.
RECOMMENDATIONS
In conclusion, once a man doesn't trust a woman, he should leave her. Once a woman doesn't respect a man, she should leave him.
Here are some obvious recommendations every young man should hear:
- Be reliable. Do what you said you were going to do. Don't talk too much.
- Be successful, in whatever ways matter most to you. The best young women usually come from great families, and you're going to have to answer to them.
- Stay in shape. Lift weights. Young women are enamored with big chests/shoulders/arms. You can get them yourself in a matter of weeks/months. Can't afford a gym membership? Do upside down push-ups against a wall. If you're overweight, you're not giving yourself a fair chance.
- Always have something more important than her, unless she really needs you, at least until she really earns that #1 spot over a period of time. If your life revolves around the relationship and her before it makes sense logically...it is doomed.
Also, in the age of the internet, everybody has ADHD. We get bored very easily. So less time with one another is probably necessary. If she doesn't recognize that herself, then you find a way to make it happen without her realizing it's on purpose. Find something to do!
- Don't get married until you want to have kids in the very near future. Why would you? Clearly, there are going to be tens of millions of single people when our generation is old, so I think there will be ways to avoid loneliness. If you're so in love with each other that you just have to get married, and it's obvious to everyone, including your elders...congratulations! Disregard what I just said.
- Remember that you are not that special! Don't think that just because a woman falls in love with you, flaws and all, that she truly has accepted you as you are, and is resigned to be with you forever. Love is powerful, but reality eventually wins out.
- Don't let your alternative worldview (hey, you're on this site!) permeate your relationship, or act like you're a genius because you know some things most people don't. There's a 99% chance that she won't care as much as you do.
What do I want? To create a secure enough life and home for myself that I can invite a woman of my choice into it. I'm working on it, but God knows I've always been guilty of taking my sweet time.
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First Comment from Name Withheld-
Most of 18-34 females aren't feminist by the usual definition. Many of them want to marry, to have babies, and to even be stay at home moms. But this is where it goes awry. They have all of the bad stuff that comes with cultural Marxism imbedded in their minds.
They party carelessly, they give sex away, they go for alpha bad boys but run to they're nearest beta when they get hurt. And they usually marry a male that's more beta because your standard alpha has trouble staying out of jail, let alone stay gainfully employed.
Toby's statement about respect being the issue is 100% spot on. These women have had a lifetime of indoctrination where they are taught not to respect men. Then they get into relationships and no matter what, they can't seem to respect the men.
Instead they argue and compete, belittle and nag.... still this is only a part of the equation. If the man can put up with this, the relationship will still function but he'll grow resentful and angry. Then he will start to drift emotionally. He decides to try some self improvement and this she interprets to mean he's seeking someone else.
This goes one of two ways. She'll either accuse him of cheating and say she doesn't trust him, and the relationship founders even more, or she realizes that she should shape up... or he'll ship out. In far too many cases, it's the first of these. I've experienced it myself. My friends (at least 10 guys I can think of) have near identical tales. 18-34 women are a F***ed up breed.
Mariel said (March 22, 2014):
Hooray for everything said by author and commenters. Just one caveat, though, I think some men really like educated women. My husband did.
Part of my appeal to him was that I was educated. Educated women also are more able to be better mothers.
I am not speaking of education just in terms of the standard college degrees, or education at "fancy" name brand colleges. Santorum was right when he advocated community colleges and vocational colleges.