Mothers with Careers are Stressed Out
April 1, 2013
"I am very tired of the propaganda
encouraging mothers to pursue careers.
If mothers aren't raising their children, who is?"
by Erin Drake
A recent Huffington Post article implies that stress is here to stay for women. Women are more stressed in the workplace because they are more conflicted about their role. But they are told they have no alternative. A "life coach" recounts:
"One [female] client kept a [policy statement] that spelled out which work demands took precedent over dinner with her kids. Another client had a mantra at the ready when she felt obliged to stay at work for financial reasons-- "Sometimes 'being there' for my kids means being at work."
The article continues, "...stress is here to stay."
Do you hear that ladies? And be sure to use the above New World Order mantra to suppress that aching, nagging feeling that you should actually be with your kids! Very helpful message from the Huffington Post.
Not only am I tired of this propaganda, I am very saddened and infuriated because it has seeped into my life in several ways. It affects my relationships to the core, but most Americans are not awake to realize the source of this tension.
My husband and I are in our thirties. We have several friends with small children, in which both parents work. Financially, they could comfortably afford for one parent to stay home, but this is not their choice.
When we try to visit with them, say, on a Saturday, it is insanity. The parents are stressed and fighting with one another, because they've been working full-time all week and trying to raise kids in their spare time.
During a recent visit with our friends Dave and Sharon, Dave confided that Saturday is "intensified" and "stressful" . The kids are all wound up because they are so thrilled to finally get time with their parents. As Dave chatted with me, Sharon, an attorney, nuked microwave meals for the kids. I wonder who, in their situation, would have time to prepare a home-cooked meal?
Sharon has told me that their nanny makes more money than she does. So my husband and I wonder, why she doesn't just stay home? We speculate it has to do with needing to work towards career advancement to pay back a hefty student loan.
Additionally, we have noticed poor Dave is quite emasculated around Sharon. Dave's demeanor becomes quite meek while she chides him for not following her directions. I feel bad that this is occurring at all, but imagine them acting this way in front of us, rather than just in private.
Dave is also on antidepressants. His explanation to my husband is that he can't deal with the humdrum of everyday life since kids. The example he gave is that he would find that "no one unloaded the dishwasher" and that makes him feel like he's going to "lose it".
When I read Huffington Post propaganda suggesting women use a mantra like, "Sometimes 'being there' for my kids means being at work" it makes me sick. If you aren't there for your kids, who is? Who is supposed to raise them and be there for them? I'm sure the government would be happy to step in and mold them into fine, young slaves.
This article literally suggests that women keep a "written page" that spells out which workplace demands take precedent over dinner with their kids -- and which do not. I propose that mothers write no such list, and, if they can afford it, raise their own kids and ALWAYS make them a home-cooked meal. We're talking fundamentals, here.
The families I have seen with a stay-at-home mom have no "intense" Saturdays. They can relax on the weekend because mom was at home to look after the kids and chores.
They can take the time to enjoy their friends and family! I miss Dave and Sharon. I have a hard time enjoying our visits when they're always in frazzled, "make-up time mode" with the kids.