Jewish Jokes about Goyim & God
March 26, 2013
Q: Why were gentiles invented? A: Somebody has to pay retail.
Some Jewish jokes elucidate themes
that explain our reality.
Jokes suggest some Jews think God is a wily businessman they cannot outfox.
by Henry Makow Ph.D.
Jews love Jewish jokes as much as anyone. Many focus on how money-minded Jews are supposed to be. I love this Woody Allen one-liner: "See this pocket watch? My grandfather sold it to me on his deathbed."
Recently, I read some jokes meant for Jewish eyes only. They came from a Chapter "Jacob and Esau" in "Jewish Wit and Wisdom" published in 1952. Many reflected the traditional Jewish-Gentile relationship down through the centuries. The first one emphasized the view that Jews are smarter than others.
A rich man left his fortune to his three friends, an Irishman, a German and a Jew. The only stipulation was that each had to put a $100 bill in his coffin just before it was lowered into the ground. At the funeral, the Irishman and the German both gladly fulfilled their obligation. Then it was the Jew's turn. He picked up the two hundred dollar bills and left a cheque for $300 in the coffin!
This is fairly benign compared to what came next.
Two Jews, one from London and one from a small shtetl (village) in Poland met at a spa in Germany. The Londoner asked his Polish friend how many Jews were in his village. 700. And how many goyim? 45. And what do the Jews do? They are artisans and shopkeepers and traders. And the goyim? "They make themselves useful to the Jews. They sweep out the stores and on Sabbath make the fires and remove the candlesticks."
Then, it was the Pole's turn. On learning there were 200,000 Jews in London, and seven million goyim, he quite rightly inquired, "What do you need so many goyim for?"
This story nicely illustrates the parochial quality of many Jews. Is it good or bad for the Jews? is a common reflex. Call it a "self-referential" quality, where the world revolves around them, and they create reality according to their prejudices and self-interest. (Is it a coincidence that the mass media and Hollywood are dominated by these "reality-creators?" And they have used this power to divert gentiles from the diabolical Judeo Masonic conspiracy?) This Jewish "solipsism" now passes as "Modernism."
In his book, Sex and Character (1903), the Jewish philosopher Otto Weininger, left, labeled it "subjectivity" and compared Jews with some women, saying neither are able to see situations objectively, or in moral terms. Everything is a reflection of their emotion, vanity and self-interest. Have you noticed that people in general are becoming more selfish and self-centered as Christian influence fades?
The joke also reminds me that while Jews have convinced themselves and the world they are the victims of irrational "hate," the Talmud tells us the hate originates somewhere within Jewish ranks. The rest of us cannot conceive that certain people would set themselves up in opposition to the human race and actually succeed.
The notion that the goyim will serve "the Jews" motivates the Illuminati in general. (The Illuminati include Freemasonry.) This explains why the human race is kept in a state of arrested development, in a perpetual adolescence. This is why there is no common effort to lift humanity to a higher spiritual and mental plane. On the contrary, the general effort is directed at degrading, re-engineering and indoctrinating it for permanent servitude.
The following joke (from Wikipedia) illustrates that Judaism may be deficient as a religion. You cannot have religion without God.
Two Rabbis argued late into the night about the existence of God, and, using strong arguments from the scriptures, ended up indisputably disproving His existence. The next day, one Rabbi was surprised to see the other walking into the Shul for morning services. "I thought we had agreed there was no God," he said. "Yes, what does that have to do with it?" replied the other.
Many observers have noted that Judaism is about empty observance and conformity rather than a living relationship with God. Arthur Koestler famously said "Judaism teaches Jews how to cheat God." The following stories suggest some Jews think God is a wily businessman they cannot outfox. This is from Wikipedia.
A poor man walking in the forest feels close enough to God to ask, "God, what is a million years to you?
God replies, "My son, a million years to you is like a second to me."
The man asks, "God, what is a million dollars to you?"
God replies, "My son, a million dollars to you is less than a penny to me. It means almost nothing to me.
"The man asks, "So God, can I have a million dollars?"
And God replies, "In a second."
I found this last one (from the book, p.361) quite shocking:
A Jew buys a lottery ticket and goes to the synagogue where he promises God that he will donate a new scroll if he wins. When he fails to win, he exclaims "the Jewish God is no businessman," and goes to the Christian church where he promises to pay for a new roof.
He wins a large prize but welches on his promise. Instead he returns to the synagogue where he praises the Jewish God in these terms: "You knew all along that I wont keep my promise so you ignored me. But the Christian God naively believed me. After all, there is no God like the Jewish God."
These stories suggest that some Jews have created God in their own image. They are their own God. Unfortunately, their God has become ours.
Makow - The Jewish Banker Conspiracy - http://henrymakow.com/001383.html
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Henry Makow received his Ph.D. in English Literature from the University of Toronto in 1982. He welcomes your comments at